Dark Shift
by Sage of Angst
Summary: FINISHED; The universe is nearly devoid of life, and Gohan's own life is over--Goku cannot reach him. But perhaps...there is someone else who can...
1. Harvest Season

Title: Dark Shift

Author: sage

Rating: PG-13 (for angst and horror)

Pairings: Gohan/Videl

Comments: Ooh… this is gonna be fun…

_Dark Shift_

__

_Chapter One: Harvest Season_

Radditz planted the seeds in the soft, fertile ground of a pure soul. Nappa and Vegeta watered the seeds, administering just the right amount of life liquid for the seeds to grow. Frieza cultivated the seeds, seeing that they grew well. Cell readied the seeds for harvest, nearly fully mature. Now it was time to reap.

*****

Beeeeeeeeeeeeee—click

The doctor quickly grabbed the wrist, checking for the gentle pulse of blood through veins. Nothing. Perhaps the neck, with its throbbing jugular? Still no movement. He shifted uneasily by the stretcher, unnerved by the presence of death, though he was around it every day. Shaking his head in pity, he lifted his eyes to the nurse across from him and removed a clipboard from his lab coat pocket.

"Time of death?" 

The woman he spoke to shifted her gaze from the patient before her to the clock on the opposite wall. "6:27 pm," she choked out. 

The man nodded grimly, jotting down the information onto the paper he held, then gently placed it into the slot at the end of the hospital bed.

"Let's cover her up, nurse; I'll call an aide in here to bring her down to the morgue." She nodded slowly, her eyes brimming with tears, and assisted the doctor in pulling a sheet snugly over the corpse. "C'mon," he said, beckoning her out the door, and she complied, switching off the light as she exited the room.

"G'night, Miss Videl," she sniffed. "We'll miss ya…"

*****

No, it wasn't his fault, surely…no, no, no. It _couldn't have been his fault. And yet…why had he let them take her? Why? Why hadn't he collected himself and __immediately flown them both straight to Dende? Hind sight… is 20/20._

B—but! He hadn't known! How _could he have known? How could __anyone have known it would be so fast? He hadn't even realized it was serious until that doctor had approached him out in the waiting area with that news…__the news._

_"Miss Videl, she's…she's beyond our help. She's slipped into a coma, unlike one we've seen anyone recover from. She may…" He dropped his voice, "She will most likely die within the next hour."_

Gohan violently pounded the barren ground before him, streaks of yellow licking the tips of his hair like flames, his eyes flashing pale blue.  A crater formed from the impact of his tantrum, and miles away the citizens of a town stood shakily, unsteadied by the earth's movement below their feet.

No, instead of caring for her, as he would have done had he been thinking, his thoughts had turned to Dragonballs. _Dragonballs! As if the small yellow spheres could bring back those who had died of natural causes! He'd placed Videl, Videl of the raven hair and fighting spirit, he had placed her in the doctor's care and rushed off on the quest for the wish-granting balls. _

Halfway through his search, though, a sharp sensation had ripped through his entire being, striking first his heart and then spreading. Not a pain, but an alarm, a call, a reminder; he immediately had rushed back to the hospital, and the whole time not _once did Dende even cross his mind. Not once. If only it had…_

_"I'm sorry son, but…" The doctor beckoned Gohan over to the side and dropped his voice so as not to startle the patients surrounding the two. "The young woman you brought in, Miss Satan, she… her EKG flatlined just a moment ago. There was…no hope."_

He went on mumbling something about "cerebral hemorrhage" and "time" and "loss," but Gohan had slipped into a coma of his own, a state of shock where time stopped. She was gone. _She.__ The next day at school, she wouldn't be there. Nor the next, nor the next. For the rest of his life, she would not be there._

He remembered, at this time, being there, walking with her through the halls during class changes. They were going to Chemistry, that's it. There was going to be a quiz on redox reactions that day, and they were both doing a bit of last minute cramming. That's what he remembered. 

Then she dropped. Just dropped, slipped to the floor right in the middle of the breezeway. He would've thought she'd merely tripped, if he hadn't seen that look of shock and horror plastered on her face as she fell, limp as a rag doll, to the floor. Like all her bones had been suddenly sucked from her body.

Then, oh then, they'd all crowded the two, pushing in for a glimpse. "What happened?" some had asked, false sympathy coloring their voices. He knew they were all rubber-necking fools looking to catch a glimpse of Hercule's daughter at her weakest.

"_Go…" he'd growled, but instead they'd insisted she be taken to the hospital. __Then he should've disobeyed the lot of them, but no. He should've flown her to Dende then, but no. He waited, let her be taken to that __human hospital. Let her die._

Suddenly, he realized it. Oh, oh, it was such a simple conclusion, so simple. _They had done it. The Kais. Those gods and demi-gods who rested smugly in the next dimension, controlling the fate of the universe and all its inhabitants. They were to blame._

It was they who had taken away his Videl, they who had refused to give him time. Time to even say goodbye…

Gohan lifted his eyes to the heavens, and thought about what lay beyond them. Somewhere up there was Videl's executioner, the being who, like one of the Fates of ancient Greece, had snipped short her life thread, separating the two by the boundary of death.

_That was how the Kais played with their mortal children? __This was his reparation for all the good he'd brought to his planet, all the deeds he'd done on others?_

He momentarily flashed again on Videl's expression as she lay helpless in his arms in the hall, the life fleeing from her body, and his convictions dug in for a long, drawn out battle. If the Kais thought they could treat him like this…

Well, if they took away _his most precious thing, then he'd just take away theirs: the universe, and all life in it._

The fruit is ripe for the picking.


	2. The First Pickings

Author's Note: Ok, as you can see, this is going to be one _sad angsty fic, and the chapters aren't going to be that long. BUT they will have lotsa stuff in each one, and there will be a lot of internal dialogue stuff going on. So beware my angst fetish and press on!_

_Chapter Two: The First Pickings_

"Doctor's worldwide are hard at work trying to identify this strange new virus as quickly as possible and discover the source of its rapid spread, though representatives say it could be months before any headway is made. Meanwhile, no edicts have as of yet been issued for quarantine. In other news, West City police are still investigating the recent robbery of world renowned Capsule Corporation. They bel—"

Click.

Chichi sighed sadly and stepped away from the television. "Seems bad times are all over."

Turning into the kitchen, she spotted her younger son putting his plate into the sink. "Honey?" she called out gently, the little child turned and looked up at her. "Honey, did Gohan leave already?"

Goten thought for a moment, then nodded meekly. "He said he wanted to go early for…somethin'. I can't remember."

"The memorial service…" she recalled. He nodded again. 

"That's what it was." Turning back to the sink, he ran a bit of water over his dirty plate and left it to soak. "Mommy?" She was beside him, and he looked up and asked in a very small voice. "Can I go outside?"

She nodded, and when the boy was out of sight, she began her assault on the dishes. Literally. Whatever anger and pent-up frustration had built up inside of her now burst out as she attacked the pile of dirty plates and glasses before her.

"My boy…" she choked out in a whisper as her eyes clouded and her vision blurred, glazed over with a thin coating of unshed tears. "My poor little boy…"

Gohan hadn't said more than a few words since the death, not that she'd really prodded him. Mother's intuition told her it was best to let him grieve alone right now, and whatever gory details the news left out, her instincts filled her in on; she had but to look at her son's eyes to know he was hurting.

All this time…all this time without so much as a casual friend anywhere near his own age…then the girl Chichi had _known_ was "the one"…It just wasn't fair! Not to Gohan, not to Videl, not to the life they might have had together. The tears came more freely now, leaving twisting salty trails own her cheeks. "Gohan…"

*****

Gohan stood, alone, on the empty plain, staring at the small screen from dark, expressionless eyes. The service was, of course, being covered by all the major networks, but the reception on the small portable television left something to be desired.

A tall, older man with curly black hair and dressed in a suit of the same color stepped up to the microphone. This was not the savior of the world, not the hero to all who lived; no, right now, this was a stooped, saddened, aged father, mourning the loss of his only child, trying to cope with the fact that he was burying his own daughter. He turned off the machine and threw it away. Hercule could say nothing in praise of Videl that Gohan didn't already know. Instead, he turned his attentions now on the vehicle before him.

It was small, round, had one door, was fitted with life-support systems, on all accounts not much changed since Vegeta had crashed in it onto Earth those many years before. He deftly pressed a series of buttons on an outside panel, and a door which took up half of the pod hissed open.

As Gohan stepped inside, he braced himself against the hatch and took one last look at the field around him. The blades of green grass, bending and swaying in the gentle breeze; the clear water, the blue never-ending sky—it was all so young and alive..

_'Wonderful,'_ thought the demi-Saiyan.

He released himself of his earthly bonds and attachments, and resigned his body to the confines of the Saiyan pod, stiffening as the hatch closed upon him, and settled into the padded seat.

As he lay there, his path before him, he felt a slight tinge of pity gnawing at the back of his mind. He brushed it off quickly; revenge _was_ a sad business, and acceptable losses must be allowed for.

He entered the codes that would lift the craft into a slow orbit and gazed benignly out of the single, small window, his blank face masking his intentions. 

The launch began and the earth slowly faded below him, a mass of blue and white floating on a sea of constant darkness. Now Gohan, too, found himself lost in that sea, adrift, just as this Kai-forsaken planet.

"Goodbye..." 

*****

"It…it's gone! He—he didn't—oh no…" King Kai could do nothing but gaze blankly ahead, every thought intently focused on the Earth. It wasn't possible, just not possible! But he had seen the whole thing. "He destroyed…the entire planet…"

He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to block the image, all the while lamenting to a long gone soul, "Oh, Goku…your son…your _son_…how did it come to this?"

End of Chapter 2


	3. Wakeful Dreaming

_Author's Notes:_ Moving on in the fic… I'm trying not to sacrifice the in-characterness (is that even a word?) of the characters for the angst load (except for Gohan, who's allowed to be a little off since he's crazy), so please let me know if I'm accomplishing this, or if I should just stick to fics that make you smile.

_Chapter Three: Wakeful Dreaming_

_'No—yet still steadfast, still unchangeable,   
Pillowed upon my fair love's ripening breast,   
To feel forever its soft fall and swell,   
Awake forever in a sweet unrest,   
Still, still to hear her tender-taken breath,   
And so live ever—or else swoon in death.'_

—John Keats, excerpt from

"Bright Star, Would I Were

Steadfast As Thou Art"

There she was, haunting him, haunting his dreams, her form forever fleeting. She was always just beyond his reach—why could he not take her?

_"You let me fall, Gohan."_

It was her voice, but it was so _not her voice; this voice was cold, accusing, completely devoid of any warmth or joy or pity. But then…for what __should she rejoice? Didn't she have a right to accuse?_

_"I—I don't want to die…Gohan!"_ Interrupted.

"Prince Vegeta."

A monotone computerized voice replaced the girl's now. She faded away into the deep corners of his mind which his conscious thoughts could not reach.

"Prince Vegeta, wake up."

Gohan obliged, slits slowly opening, as buds at dawn. Though the Saiyan pod was still dark, a very faint light could be detected outside the ship. His eyes slid over to a small monitor on which a tiny dot was blinking and words were being typed out in some language with which he was unfamiliar.

"Prince Vegeta: entering the orbit of 'Maiynar.' Fourth planet from unnamed star 4876-34. Life: present, level eight civilization. Atmosphere: breathable. Prepare for descent?"

In the darkness, the corners of Gohan's mouth curved up into a sinister smile. "No. Hold present course."

"Yes, Prince Vegeta." He leaned his upper body forward, maneuvering so that he could stare out of the single porthole at the planet passing below.

It was quite small—less than one-quarter the size of Earth. But there was life, abundant life from what the computer had said, and that meant that the Kais still cherished the planet. He placed one palm on the pane and shivered. So cold.

Gohan closed his eyes again.

*****

"But—no! Why?!" Goku slipped to his knees, lacking the strength to keep his body upright. He stared at his hands in disbelief. How could his own flesh and blood… "Why?! It—I can't understand this…this senseless killing!"

King Kai laid a land reassuringly onto the man's shoulder, comforting him as best he could. "No one understands it, Goku. But you must help us determine what has triggered this change and, more importantly, how to amend it."

Goku lifted his head and stared into space, myriad thoughts running rampant through his mind, all vying for his attentions. _'Gohan…why are you doing this?'_ His boy was so gentle, hesitant to harm even the most vile of creatures—his son had wavered against Cell!

And yet here he was…destroying entire civilizations, whole worlds…his _own_ world, with a cold fist, showing neither remorse nor any sign of stopping.

"He's nearly wiped out the whole quadrant." The fighter turned and looked into the Kai's eyes at this statement. "Goku," his voice was grim, more so than he'd ever heard before. "Goku…he must be stopped. By _any_ means."

_Any means_. Goku closed his eyes, feeling them stinging with unshed tears as he lamented his son's fate. They'd been apart for seven years—for _seven years. He'd missed seeing some of the best years of Gohan's life. And apparently __something had happened—but what could trigger such a rash decision as this? "Let me… let me go to him…"_

"Goku—you know I can't do that. Not even in as serious a situation as this. A request like that could only be granted by...well, by someone higher up than me."

The father opened his eyes. "Then let me speak to him. Maybe…maybe he'll listen to reason." But in his heart, he felt whatever madness had driven his son down this path had placed him beyond reason's help.

King Kai nodded, and Goku placed one trembling hand on his back, closing his eyes.

*****

He was slipping…no, not slipping, falling…plummeting off a cliff, back into the darkness of hypersleep, awaiting the computer's message that another planet had come within range, when a voice entered his mind…strangely familiar. He felt its urgency, its confusion, its anger.

_'Gohan?__ Gohan—answer me! Gohan!'_

He frowned—he knew that voice. He remembered it from ever so long ago. "There's no need to shout…_Dad_."

On King Kai's planet, Goku's eyes shot open in shock. Gohan's voice—it was so cold, so uncaring, so…_evil_. This voice…could it really belong to his son?

"Been keeping tabs on me, have they? Good…I was starting to worry I wasn't taking drastic enough measures, but apparently I'm making some impact."

_'Gohan… what are you doing?'_

He smiled. "Little something I picked up over the years—it's called revenge, Dad. And I'll tell you, it feels _good. To know that those who hurt you are, themselves, hurting… ah, ecstasy."_

_'Gohan, this is wrong, you can't do this! You're using your power to hurt others—what could anyone have possibly done to have you do this?'_

From the safety of his pod, the demi-Saiyan smirked. "So _many_ things happened. So much death, it didn't seem like a bit more would—"

_'Why?!__ Gohan!' His voice rose in pitch, shrill and pleading. Gone, gone were the times of years past, when he could simply shake a finger at his son and say in a condescending tone, "No"—not that'd ever truly needed to with Gohan. Such a sweet child, who only wanted to lead a peaceful life with his parents, no fighting._

"King Kai…" came the sing-song voice, dripping with evil glee. "I can see you haven't told him yet….Why I'm doing this…"

The god cut in, _'Wha—I don't know why you're doing this, boy! No one does!'_

"Tut tut, you shouldn't lie, _sir_. It's unbecoming of such a being as yourself…who holds such sway over mortals' lives…I'll tell you what: The next planet looks to be…" He cast a glance over to the computer screen to his left, "Oh…another few hours away. If my father can determine why this is happening, then…I'll spare this world I'm nearing. And—don't spoil it for him, I'll know. If _you_ tell him the truth, or if he can't figure it out before the computer wakes me, then…well, I'll have to talk to you later. Need to get my rest." With that, he shut his mind to any further intrusions from the god or his father.

*****

"…King Kai?" No reply came forth, arousing suspicion in Goku's mind. Was the boy telling the truth? "You know why?"

"_No_… and yes."

"What?!"

The god was quick to explain. "_No one in this realm can fathom exactly what has turned your son down this path, why he is doing these terrible things; but, I __do know when this started, and what event occurred just before."_

Event? Of course; his son wouldn't just gradually become evil…would he? Something made him snap… His eyebrow knit in determination. "Sh—show me, _please. I have to see. To see as __he saw it."_

Nodding, the kai agreed. "That is how it must be done. The only way I can show you and yet not tell you. I will place your spirit in a world of his memory: you will see what he saw, feel as he felt. This, I believe, will not violate the pact."

*****

_Three Weeks Ago_

It's a strange thing, you know. Love. _Real_ love.

The heaven that comes but once in everyone's lifetime, and it pays no heed to the conveniences of those it visits. If you don't catch it when it comes to you…if you let it go…if it dies…if you kill it…

It will not come again.

And it was for that reason that his son clung so fiercely to Videl, with all his mind, his heart, his very essence was tied into protecting and loving her, even if it was from afar. _He_ knew; maybe _she knew. All Gohan could do was wait for it to come and, in the meanwhile, hold on for dear life._

Goku felt the vital sign fluctuations of his son's body as he watched her through him, as a typical day unfolded before him through the boy's eyes.

Seven years he'd been gone. Gone from his friends, his family, his wife, his son. Weeks, days, hours, minutes, seconds…every second lost now came back to him with the force of a million tiny knives slashing him, reproachful. _"You missed this,"_ or _"You missed that." _

Gohan attended public school now, a mystery in itself, no longer home-schooled by Chichi. With children of his own age…with this _girl_. Goku smiled: _There_ was the son he remembered leaving behind, shy, polite, still ever-so-gentle. And this Videl…she reminded him of Chichi almost. So much…strong, willful, stubborn at times, but holding a good heart.

A dark cloud dropped from the heavens and rested upon Goku, filling his mind with questions: if everything was so _right_…what could have gone wrong?

Then, there it was. The long hallway Gohan had been walking down, and the girl, Videl, fell beside him, limp and unmoving. Goku sensed the worry-induced ki spike emitted by his son, felt the thoughts running wild through the boy's mind, the confusion, the anger as a crowd pushed in from all sides.

The girls was ripped from his arms, taken away to a hospital, and Gohan left her. It didn't matter how pure his intentions were, that he'd left to help her…it mattered that he'd abandoned her. That love.

And there was the mistake. The accident, through the fault of none save chance and fate. It was no one's fault, certainly not the kais', but Gohan didn't see that.

As he watched through the eyes as the news of her death was sent, he could hear an audible snap—the breaking of the barrier between his old Gohan and the new one, the pseudo-Gohan inhabiting his son's body.

Inside, he felt Gohan searching for an explanation. All the evil hoisted upon him through previous battles was crushing his poor soul, putting in its place a cold, unforgiving one. This was the final straw—there was no way back, _nothing to return to._

His son existed now merely in name and body: there was no soul left. 

_Gohan__ was gone._

*****

Goku was jerked roughly from the memory, breathing in short, forced gasps. Eyes wide, he let the images wash from his tired mind, barely leaving any trace of their existence behind. After all, they were part of the old soul…

"He…he _loved_ her…loved her _so_ much…" His eyes clouded over with pity. "And…she died. She died—so he blamed the Kais."

The god nodded, his suspicions confirmed. "Now you see it. The truth. Gohan will not stop. He will not revert to his old self, he will not give up this vengeful soul on his own. You _must_ reach him."

"I'll…I'll try again…" But he felt the cold thud in his heart, as the realization hit him and lodged itself in his own soul. He remembered his son's emotions, feeling the vast abyss of darkness, the barren wasteland which had ousted his son's gentle soul from his own body…_nothing he could do could help._

_Nothing_…

—End Chapter Three—

_Post-Chapter Notes:_  Well? How goes it? Too angsty? (nah, there's no such thing!) As always, constructive criticism as well as reviews praising my infinite genius (yeah right…) are welcome! They're even encouraged here! So, what're you waiting for? Click that little review button….please? ;D


	4. What I Want More Than Anything

Chapter Four: What I Want More Than Anything

Lately, he loved sleeping, for with sleep came the dreams. That escape from the cruel harsh reality he lived in now, the escape fantasized about by those trapped in some new fresh Hell. In those dreams…he would be smiling—at life, at his mother, at his brother, at his friends. At _her_. And they would all smile back at him, for he was their friend, their loved one. They made him happy, and he made them happy.

And he would _never_ hurt them. _Could _never hurt them.

But then, that was just in a dream. A dream realm, where she was still alive, and he hadn't destroyed his whole world. That perfect, precious paradise. Where people met, fell in love, had a few kids, and grew old together. Not where one died suddenly, leaving the other to pine away in grief until the end of his days, or else go crazy.

Was he crazy? Certainly the kais seemed to think so, but he didn't. His actions, as he saw them, seemed perfectly legitimate.

An eye for an eye; a tooth for a tooth—leaving the world blind and toothless.

He wouldn't mind being blind, really, except you can't pluck out the mind's eye—and that was what he wanted to lose more than anything. For in his mind were etched the images of a life he _might_ have had—his potential future, had the kais not done him this way. The one which had slipped from his grasp as swiftly as the life fled Videl's frail body.

What did he _want_, his father had asked. Gohan's mouth curved upwards into a wan smile—the kind drawn out, not from malice or evil glee, but by memories of days gone by.

What he wanted he could never receive, save through the manipulation of time itself. He'd lost what he had, and now he wanted it back—wanted it back _so_ badly.

He wanted to go home. Home, to that place from his dreams. To sit at that same sturdy wooden table his father had sat at all those years before. To gorge upon a mountain of food with little Goten, while his mother, smiling and shaking her head, looked on fondly. To skim the glittering surface of that crystal blue lake he used to fish in, to soar like an eagle high above some urban metropolis and race the sun. To lie on a blanket of grass under ten thousand thousand thousand twinkling stars, close to her, listening to the gentle intake and release of her breath, knowing that if he looked over, he would see her staring back. To just think, not to talk. To sigh, to frown, to laugh, to smile.

He wanted it _all_ back.

He wanted to have it all back—or else to remember none of it.

Goku thought Gohan was gone, that none of the gentle soul once held by his son still rested in this forlorn body.

But he was wrong, so very wrong. Much of that boy—particularly his memories—was still there. Now, though, he was joined by doubt, jealousy, rage, and they all tightened around him, strengthening his fortitude and resolve to outlast the kais.

He wanted it back _so_ badly that he cried for it, like some small whining child lusting after a fancy new toy glittering in the department store window. Maybe, maybe if he screamed loud enough, they'd give it to him…so Gohan yelled, and when he got louder, planets disappeared.

But it seemed no matter how loud he got, they still wouldn't give him what he desired most. Soon, he wouldn't be able to yell any louder, and he'd be left all alone in a frozen, empty universe.

Do you know how it feels to want something you can't have? Not the desire a child exhibits towards a toy he wants…but the thirst for life felt by a terminally ill mortal. Knowing death is coming, and knowing no matter how strong you are, you can't fight _this_. Perhaps the Goku in Mirai Trunks' timeline felt that hunger for life, but it was most certainly followed by despair as he crossed from this plane permanently. No matter _who_ wanted it, _this_ would still not come. And no begging, no pleading, no crying would change it.

Gohan wanted it, he needed it. He didn't want to die, and he didn't want to kill. It wasn't fair! Why couldn't everyone just keep on living? Why couldn't _she_ live, at least? 

And…why was _he_ still here?

Time to up the volume.

*****

_'I'm sorry.'_

Gohan was jerked roughly from his dream, scowling at the interruption. It had been one of the better dreams, too…All his friends, his family, at a party, merriment, and an announcement: his wedding! She had said…_yes_…and his bliss could not be measured on any mortal scale. 

"For what, Father? For what?"

_'For you.'_

A pause, and then a monotonous reply came, cool and calculated. "Gohan is still in here, you know. And every moment, every second of every minute of every hour that passes, he relives his memories inside his head. And…you know what?" Another pause, yet Goku refrained from answering the rhetorical question. "_You're not in most of them_."

The sound of Goku's heart breaking ripped through the now cold and empty universe. His son smiled malignantly, feeling the man's torment. "Perhaps you should feel more pity for yourself." He began to close his mind to the intruder, when a single word squeaked through at the last moment.

_'Videl.'_

It held open the link between father and son, and Goku took the opportunity to plead with the boy.

'You think you're the only one who ever got hurt? Who ever lost someone they loved, Gohan? You think only you know that kind of pain? Everyone does!  We've all lost someone we loved more than life itself; you are not alone in this.' 

Part of him wanted this man to stop—yet another part wished him to continue, to carry on; he knew how he felt, and desired nothing more than to stop this killing spree.

The first half wished it to continue, to purge this dimension, and to take back what was due him.

_'You are selfish, Gohan. Because you can't have your way, because you can't have the life you wanted, you are willing to hurt others, releasing your anger upon innocents. They have done nothing! Yes, what happened to you was sad, but it was a part of life; the kais didn't do it—they had no control over it.'_

Goku halted his tirade, and over the distance, across the gap between life and death, a voice came, small and child-like. Scared. "What…what do you want me to do, Daddy? _What_?"

_Daddy_? Daddy…he hadn't been called that in so long, not for seven years. This was…this was _Gohan_, his little boy, calling for his father, his Daddy. This wasn't the defender of the Earth, not the defeater of Cell…not the destroyer of the universe. It was just _Gohan_.

'You have to stop, Gohan. Stop the killing!' 

Again the voice spoke over the distances, but it was not as before. Now, it was laced with a cold vein of gravity, maturity. There was no childish innocence here. "And…then what?" No answer. "Then what? Should I just wait here, float around in space, until I fade from existence and join you in that Other World?"

Goku's broken heart had not the strength to explain that his Gohan…his little boy…would not be joining _him_ when he died…

And really, what could he do to escape this fate? _Nothing_. His world was gone, destroyed by his own hand, and Neo-Namek had fallen soon after—perhaps all he _could_ do was sit and await his own demise in that spherical coffin hurtling through space.

"Answer me _this_, Father: you've saved the Earth at least half a dozen times, haven't you? And died a few times in the process?"

_'Yes, I have,' _came the calm reply. _'And I would do it all over again if only to achieve the same end: peace and safety for my friends and family.'_

"Of course," was the cold comment of agreement, "Of course, how noble. Now—you have shed blood countless times for others, expecting no reward, saved _our_ world. Saved others' worlds. Saved the whole universe, without any compensation whatsoever. And yet you _still _die, are still separated from those you fought to save. Now, wouldn't you think you'd get _some_ kind of special treatment? Is that _fair_?"

Goku cast a glance down to King Kai, detecting an equally worried gaze through the dark glasses the god wore, but received no encouragement or guidance.

'If I could give—' 

"No! Yes, or no: is it _fair_? After all you've done, do you _deserve_ to face the same mortality as  every single other creature in this universe you've saved so many times?"

Goku's eyes slid shut, and he breathed out, _'Yes. I accept it.'_

"_Liar_." With whispered fury came the utterance, and yet another world was no more.

*****

Goku had lost. He'd failed utterly and completely. Instead of bringing his son back to his senses, he'd only pushed him further over the edge. His mind would receive no more entreaties from the father.

Planets were being destroyed more quickly now, with deadly efficiency, and whole galaxies seemed to disappear in the blink of an eye.

"I'm sorry, Goku…but—"

"It's—it's alright," he interrupted gently. "I understand what your duty is…the universe first, before anything else. The universe first."

Nodding slowly, the Kai pressed, "And…you know what his fate will be…where he will be sent…"

"I do…I understand." As the god turned away, Goku quickly looked up from where he had been kneeling, and grasped the being's long robes, halting him. "Please…tell me…what—how will you…stop him…"

Frowning, the great blue forehead creased in worry. "Honestly, Goku…we're going to do everything we can to make it as quick as possible. Your son is…_very_ strong…we can't even send _you_; it simply wouldn't be enough."

In some grim corner of his mind, Goku was a little proud at that statement, but it was quickly brushed aside. "Then…what?"

"There was once, many years ago, an evil creature that ravaged the universe under its master's orders…long before I was North Kai. It was suggested that we release this old evil from its prison to eliminate the new one." Goku cringed inwardly, finding it so difficult to associate his son with "evil." "But this course of action has been abandoned. We'd be out of the frying pan and into the fire fighting that monster once he finished with Gohan, and besides, his prison—along with the monster lying dormant inside of it—was destroyed along with the Earth."

"Isn't there…_anyone_ strong enough to beat him?"

"No—no fighter alive could match Gohan's current power. We are trying to assemble an army of the best warriors left in the universe…it will be the force we use…to destroy him." The end of the statement fell into an ashamed whisper. "I'm so sorry it had to come to this, my friend."

"So am I, King Kai…_So am I_…"

END CHAPTER FOUR

Post-Chapter Notes: Well, four chapters into the story, and I think it's safe to tell you that this won't be a really "plot-driven" story. More of an extended one-shot, really, with mostly stream-of-consciousness, introspective, "what if?" stuff. If you're one of those people who just _has_ to have a plot in a story the read, it's pretty much: "Videl dies, Gohan goes crazy and starts destroying the universe for revenge—how will he be stopped?" Anyway, just thought I'd get that cleared up before any further confusion settles in. You know the drill now, you've done the reading, now commence with the reviewing!—sage 

P.S.—Oh, by the way, this story line is just about done, and I'm expecting one, at the most _two_ more chapters to come out of this, so hang on, we're almost done!


	5. Seeds of Memory

_Author's Notes: _Well, this is it. The last stretch, end of the road. You've stuck with me so far, so I would advise you all to whip out a fresh box of Kleenex and hold on. Here goes.

_Chapter Five: Seeds of Memory_

The universe would never be the same, never again return to the status it had held for countless thousands of years. Great and glorious civilizations, approaching their prime, were wiped out, and those in only the dawn of their existence, full of potential, were obliterated with the pointing of a finger. No, not since the horrific days of the Majin Buu era had such tragedy been witnessed in all the four quadrants.

"Send Son Goku to me, at once," a calm voice ordered, sending away an attendant. "I have a matter of great importance I wish to discuss with him." Drumming his fingers along the armrest of the hulking throne he was perched upon, impatient, the Supreme Kai heaved his body up from its seat and willed his lavish surroundings to mimic a garden environment. Bowing to obey his slightest whim, the chair behind him became a great stone bench, and the walls about him faded from view, replaced by the greenery of bushes and saplings. Overhead, the ceiling gave way to a beautiful multihued sky.

A creaking sound reached his sensitive ears as he fingered a strange white flower, and he turned his attentions behind him to the iron gate which guarded the entrance to the new garden—formerly a pair of sturdy, extravagantly decorated doors.

Kneeling, the Saiyan began humbly, "Sir, Supreme Kai, I beg—"

"Please, no, no, get up." He urged the fighter to his feet, extending a hand to the bench behind the two. "We've no time for such formalities, my good man." Goku stared a moment, then gave a curt gesture of acknowledgement and followed the god, taking a seat beside him on the stone structure. "Then…he is _your_ son?"

A sad nod was granted him. "Yes…and even through all that he's done…he's still dear to me—he always will be, through anything. I guess that's one of the curses of being a father: you love your child no matter what horrible things he does."

"I see…" he said, not really seeing at all. "Then, I suppose you know of the force being prepared to stop him?"

"I…I do, but…" He hesitated for a moment, but the Kai pressed him to continue. "I didn't tell King Kai this, because I didn't have any kind of alternative, and we needed to try _something_…but this army you're gathering… it won't be enough."

"Wh—what?!" His eyes grew wide in fear and disbelief, and his voice crescendoed in pitch. "H-how can it not be _enough_?!"

Goku smiled grimly. "You underestimate Gohan's power, Sir. There just aren't enough decent fighters left in the universe…you can't stop him this way."

The god's eyes lowered to the ground, defeated. "_This_ way…you spoke of an alterative—you have one now?"

"I think…I do. But it would call for a little rule-bending. I understand how critical this situation is, and that's why I need your help. He won't listen to me anymore; I've tried a dozen times, but he's shut me out."

"I may be able to assist, but… what do you plan to _do_?"

Smiling wearily, Goku revealed, "We have to let him see her."

The god's eyes narrowed in confusion. "See…_who_?"

"The girl who started this all, and the girl who will finish it. Videl Satan."

*****

He was dreaming. Again. This time, though…this time it was _so_ real he would have sworn up and down that the _dream_ was reality, and reality the dream. It was certainly a lot nicer that way.

"So, you just…" He grasped her hands, "Feel it, right in your stomach and…" He watched with close interest as her brow knit, showing her intense concentration. "…and bring it out!"

A faint glow burst into life, hardly enough to properly toast a marshmallow, and her eyes shot open as she gazed in wonder at her life energy, finally given a visible form. Just as quickly, though, it was snuffed out—her light faded from existence…

He gasped, but she just looked up, a bright smile plastered on her face, even hints of a blush crept up—she was _happy_. Sure, she hadn't gotten very far with that energy, in that life…but it didn't bother her, not like it bothered Gohan. _She accepted it_.

He didn't want anything to happen to that precious energy of hers, her life, but she'd just waved it off. He saw her as a beautiful china doll, meant to be weak, so that he could protect her for all time. She only wanted freedom. Whatever happened, happened, and who was she to frown at it? Better yet, who was _he_ to frown at it?

The memory stopped, and he played it again. These were the ones he watched over and over and over…the ones with her, when they were happy. When he first met her, when he fought for her as Saiyaman, when she _found out_ he was Saiyaman, when she met his mother, flying lessons…but there was one memory he never viewed. One he would do _anything_ to forget. _That_ memory…was the whole reason he was watching memories instead of making them.

Wait…wait…where was he? Looking around, he discovered he was no longer in control. This was none of his doing; a never-ending darkness stretched out around him—at least, he assumed it was never-ending, as he couldn't even see his hand before his face anymore. He twisted all around, searching in the blackness for…for…for what? What _was_ he looking for? He'd known it just a moment ago, but now…

His question was answered by those responsible for the darkness. Before him, a faint gray dot appeared, small at first, then growing, brightening, into a doorway. There was someone standing in that doorway, and as soon as the figure crossed the threshold, the dark was no more.

Gohan stood stock still for what seemed an eternity, his breath caught in his throat, then his knees buckled, and he slumped to the ground, kneeling as if before some great god. Or angel. He closed his eyes, mustn't cry now…don't cry…may as well try to order himself not to breathe. Tears, of joy? No…sorrow—they were tears of pain and grief. They slid down and dropped to the ground, propelled forward as his chest heaved up and down. "I'm sorry…I—I didn't mean it…didn't mean to…"

"Shh…" It was just like in the memory; a voice so soft, yet strong, not rough or harsh, but leaving behind a feeling of permanence—that she'd _always_ be there… She hadn't even said anything, and already she was lying. "You're sorry…shh, I know…I know…'s alright…" She ran trembling fingers through the shock of hair he sported, and he shuddered, crying out like a small child. Unable to hold himself back any longer, he lunged forward, enveloping her in his strong arms, wanting so badly to be weak then. She countered, still murmuring words of comfort into his ear.

They lingered this way for only a moment, when he pulled back to look her full in the face. Oh, her face…it seemed he hadn't seen it in years. He brushed a finger on her face, tracing her cheekbone down to her chin, and she clapped a hand over it, holding it to its place. She smiled at him, just like before…just like in the dream…just like nothing had happened…

"No…" He closed his onyx eyes once more, embracing their darkness. "It's not…it's not real…" He now recognized it for the dream it was, another taunting pseudo-reality. He knew he was still in the Saiyan pod, alone, blasting through space, waiting for the computer to wake him up. And Videl…Videl was dead.

"No, it's not," she corroborated. "It's not real…_but it could have been_."

His eyes shot back open, and he stood, meeting her gaze. They glittered back, but from malice or glee? Was she a demon, sent to torment him, or an angel sent to comfort? "Wha…Videl…"

She still held his palm fast to his cheek. "No one's fault…_no one's_ fault…_why_ Gohan?" Her eyes narrowed in question, and he broke, sobbing into confession as if seated before some priest.

"I—I wanted it back! This wasn't supposed to happen—it wasn't fair! You weren't supposed to…weren't supposed…I thought, that they would send you back, if I…" He trailed off.

"Killed?" she finished for him, and his eyes grew wide in protest, glistening with pent up sorrow and frustration.

"Everyone—they _had_ to listen to me! After everything, _everything_ I did for them, after all the things I went through…my _whole life_…why couldn't they just leave me _alone_?!" His question rose in volume, a scream of undiluted fury at the end, but she moved not an inch.

She gently smoothed back that lock of black that always seemed to linger in front of his eyes. "They won't do it, Gohan…no matter what, they _can't_. Too much has gone wrong." At the risk of sounding reproachful, she continued. "I died, Gohan." He began to shake his head, but she stopped him, "_Yes_, I got sick, and…I _died_. Understand it, they weren't hurting _you_, they weren't hurting _me_…it was what happens sometimes, it was all a part of life. All this…you're doing it for the _wrong_ reasons." A pause…She opened her mouth to speak again, but looking upon his form now, sad, scared, eyes rimmed in red…she couldn't say it.

If he hadn't started this…if he'd moved on, perhaps even if he'd taken his own life…they could've been together again. For eternity, not merely some quick half-century that flew by in the blink of an eye—_forever_. Everyone eventually died, and Gohan would be no exception, no matter how great his strength, just as she'd been no exception. But…they would have been _together_.

As things stood now, this would be the last time she'd see him. _Ever_. Not in a few years, not even in a few _hundred_. 

She would never see him again…At first, she'd felt sorry for _him_, for his fate, but now, thinking about it, she realized she was pitying _herself_. Her eyes hardened, an icy blue stare, quivering. She released his hand, begging, "Gohan…kiss me…kiss me now, _please_…"

A bit unnerved by the urgency of the request, but hardly one to refuse it, he leaned in and pulled her close, his eyes pulling him back into darkness as they slid shut once more. He saw…old memories again…but now they were _her_ memories…her feelings, her thoughts, coursing through his mind. And laced in each one was a note of…_sadness_? 

__

Remorse…goodbye…I love you, I always loved you, I will always love you…remember when? Remember?…goodbye…I'm sorry…goodbye, Gohan…

He opened his eyes to find that she had never closed hers, and still looked upon him with pity, pleading for…forgiveness.

And that was when it hit him, the moment when a cold burst of realization gripped his soul.

He would never see her again…his father hadn't answered him when Gohan spoke of joining him after death…because, he _wouldn't_ be…

His voice was soft in the beginning, strained by disbelief, and he begged her to be lying. "No…no, no…nononononononon—"

"Gohan—Gohan, no—! Don't…don't—Goh—"

"_NO!_ No—no, it can't! I—please—don't let it—"

"_Please_!" she was crying no, too, begging and pleading, pulling on the edging of his gi, he couldn't despair like this, not him…"Don't…Gohan…"

He raised his head to the blackness above, screaming, "_No_! You _can't_ do this—I—don't…don't send me…"

He sank back to his knees, pounding away at the tear-soaked ground, as Videl looked on, helpless. "…I just want it back…_please_…I want…_I'm sorry_…" His voice trailed off, the vengeful heart he'd held replaced by a spirit of involuntary acceptance…it would never be the same, never like before…_never_.

He wasn't supposed to be here, you know. Right now, he was supposed to be at home, entertaining little Goten and Trunks with a pre-dinner spar. They would be laughing, smiling, enjoying everything life could offer them, wanting for nothing. Death? Hah, that wouldn't come to any of _them_ for a long time, barring any undefeatable enemies, of course, but those didn't exist. Their daddies killed them all off. Grief? That was seven years ago, he'd moved on since then—they _all_ had. The only aspect of his life he'd had no control over was the move to a public school education. Now…he'd give anything to be back there.

But he knew they couldn't send him back. He couldn't have that life anymore, he'd killed it. And no matter what he did, who he hurt, what he destroyed, it would never be enough.

Was this the same kind of grim acceptance exhibited by the survivors of the android terror in Mirai Trunks' world? Their loved ones had been killed, their world utterly destroyed and thrown into chaos…their lives would never be the same again—yet what could they do?

What could _he_ do?

"Don't ever leave me…" he choked out, and drew her closer.

She placed one palm gently on his gi, right over his heart. "I won't…always, forever…don't forget me…"

He couldn't forget; he could never forget, not even if he wanted to. All he _could_ do was remember.

The doorway was still open behind her, and she was pulled back through it, leaving him alone once more in that darkness. Was this his Hell? What his eternity would be—a never-ending series of goodbyes stretching out, out, out…from never to forever…?

But he still had the memories, and forever was a long time. He sank down into the cold, hard floor, and his eyes slid shut. He began to dream again…

"Hey, brother! Videl's here, can we play now, huh? You said we could play when she got here!"

"Of course, squirt." He ruffled the child's already messy hair. "Let's go. We got plenty of time."

_Fin_

* * *

Post-chapter Notes: Well, that's it. That's all folks. My most angst-ridden story to date, and my first one finished. Man, it was quite a ride writing this thing, I got to portray so many emotions through these characters, and I have to say I'm pretty satisfied with how it came out. I'll admit, the ending kinda leaves you hanging, but that's about as happy an ending I could give in this story the way I'd written it.

While writing the previous chapter, I'd had an almost-idea about throwing in Buu to give the story a happier ending (and it _would_ be happier, had I done that) but I figured I'd do this and see how people react. So, how are you reacting? Click that review button, it's the last time I'll ask for this story ;D Thanks so much for sticking through this, and I'll catch you all later!—sage 


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